However, the perfectionistsвЂ™ belief doesnвЂ™t see these traps. As a matter of fact, perfectionism is pointless, as perfection itself is deceptive!

Perfectionism isnвЂ™t only unhealthy however, itвЂ™s also addictive and self-destructive. Meaning, it is meant to protect us against shame.Д«ut, life as a perfectionist is emotionally unhealthy, because it enables our own self-worth reliant on support or acceptance from others.

In brief, perfectionism is the belief that, if we appear perfect and live and behave perfectly, then weвЂ™ll be able to protect ourselves from criticism, judgment or blame. Instead, it revolves around the central fear of shame. ItвЂ™s different than struggling to be your best and it is not the same as self-improvement. By understanding that everyone around you has probably experienced what youвЂ™re experiencing now, youвЂ™ll find it easy to open up go them and finding support.Дў вЂ“ Fear of shame conceals at the back perfectionism.ДЄre you a perfectionist? If so, do you see it as a positive quality?ДЄlthough perfectionism sounds positive, it isnвЂ™t worth pursuing. On the contrary, being honest about your hopes enables it possible for you to get support when you really need it.ДЄlso, practicing compassion makes you see that you arenвЂ™t alone, and as a matter of fact, everyone around you struggles with that same problem as you.Д¬ompassion, in contrast with sympathy, is a connection between equals: for us to relate to the struggles of others, you have to accept your own, as well. Acting like failure is not a big deal and it wonвЂ™t make the pain that comes with failure any easier. Endeavor not to play down your hopes in these circumstances. To do this in practice, think about when next you actually want something to occur maybe winning a contest or killing an interview. YouвЂ™ll need to have the courage to say your mind and let yourself be vulnerable in the presence of others. So because itвЂ™s a choice, we, therefore, have the decision to be authentic on certain days and less authentic on the days when weвЂ™re too tired.Д«ut if you do, choose to behave with more authenticity, then youвЂ™ll have to practice courage and compassion. ItвЂ™s the day-to-day choice, to be honest, accept our vulnerability and not care about what others think of us. Instead, itвЂ™s a choice, one that shows how we want to live. However, this is simply false!ДЄuthenticity isnвЂ™t a feature that you either have or donвЂ™t. Due to that, we feel we are inauthentic people, very weak to live honestly.

Unluckily, some factors hinder us from doing that: for instance, a lack of self-confidence or pressure to fit in. It is by following this route of authenticity and individualism that we can hope to become happy.ДЎ вЂ“ Authenticity is a choice that needs courage, compassion, as well as connection.ДЄ lot of people would like to live a life that is true to who they are meaning, weвЂ™d like to be as authentic as possible. They emphasize the importance of us accepting our own uniqueness, our own little imperfections, and quirks вЂ“ the things that shape who we are. These chapters will show us another means. However, whatвЂ™s the outcome of all this? We end up living nervous and unhappy lives. We work very hard at our job because society requires us to do so we donвЂ™t spend a lot of time having fun, because we believe that people would judge us and see us as playful. We try so hard to fit in: to do what we think we ought to do.

A lot of us attempt to live our lives according to other peopleвЂ™s instructions.

The art of stillness summary